Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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