so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
