i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
