1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
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