this beer tastes like vomit already
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize