I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
