I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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