Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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