I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize