Non-Jews are for practice
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
being pregnant is like rehab
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize