i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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