i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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