Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He felt like a one man threesome
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
