I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
