and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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