So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
