so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
