I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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