Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
this just has baby written all over it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
