I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
