So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
