Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
