Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
