no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
