If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
a search helicopter?!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize