Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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