Can i not drive my cunt home
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
