check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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