Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
