Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
