Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
