I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
