i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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