is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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