you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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