i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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