I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
