"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone shattered a urinal.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize