I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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