my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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