The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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