Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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