Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
