That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
