Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
