I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
