Your mouth is God's brothel.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
