I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
