Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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