When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
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I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
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I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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