Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm having to shit out rocks
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