Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
