Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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