can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
