i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
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They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
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He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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