I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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