He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Semen is not good for contacts.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
