Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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