And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
