She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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