yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am available for nakedness
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
