we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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